Hi this is Moselle I just wanted to touch base on something that’s been a theme for this week with my clients and I thought maybe would be something that you could use as well so if you’re a man and you find that you’re attracting the same type of women for example drama queen or if you’re a woman and.
You think that you attract the same type of guy perhaps just an abuser or a jerk overall it’s because you have an inside addiction to that personality trait so one of the things that I suggest to my clients that they do in order to break that pattern is to write a list of everybody who’s been.
In your life positive list and a negative list in other words.
Let’s say that your sister has been a great person.
And you just love her and you want more people like her in your life then you put a column of those people together and then on another page you write down the people who have been in your life that you wish you would not.
Attract any more ever like that again okay so then you have two lists.
You have one up two people that you really want more of in your life and you have another list of people that have been in your life that you’re like I don’t want anymore these types of people in my life and then you get in touch with their personalities what do all of those people on the good list have in common what do all the people on the bad list have in common once you identify what the commonalities are in these people and their personalities you can then identify what part of you is attracted to.
That now I know you’re thinking oh my gosh I would never.
Be attracted to somebody who’s abusive but believe it or not you can.
Be for example there are people who always always seem to attract the people who are project people or needy or emotional vampires or energy vampires and what’s happened is that they’re attracted to that because for example they have a need or an addiction to feel needed so what happens is they automatically attractive people that they feel need to be saved or executors.
Fixed or something in some way.
And so even though that person gets overwhelmed and exhausted and said oh my god I’m tired of people who are needy.
Coming into my life when they don’t have those people around the addiction of.
That need kicks in and starts the whole entire pattern over again which is why you repeat patterns so codependency that’s another thing that is an addiction you are addicted to each other’s personality traits ok so again make a list of the people who are great in.
Your life who you would like more of make another list of the people that have not been so great in your life that.
You don’t want any more of in your life.
Then take each list separately and identify what other personality traits that they have in common and then find out what in you needs those people okay.
Once you identify what void in yourself or what need in yourself that it fills you are then able to stop the pattern because.
You have extra awareness anyway I hope it helps see you later have a great day.